What is the definition of a good father? In my eyes, a good father is a man who desperately wishes for their child to grow into a great man, a powerful man, a respected man, and an honest man. Amir troubles me; I can not express the feeling that overcomes me when I look into his dark brown eyes. Is it guilt? Fear?
Sometime ago, my good friend, Rahim Khan, told me to never be disappointed in Amir, because he can not become the powerful businessman that I was. However, not once have I wished for Amir to become like me, or anything like me. I do not want Amir to follow in the footsteps of a thief and a traitor. Oh, not only am I am thief and a traitor, I am also liar. I have deceived Amir throughout his entire life. I faked the role of an honest man, and concealed my greatest sins from Amir ………. and Hassan. Oh Hassan, how I wish Amir was more like him. Hassan is ever so loyal and courageous. Ali did a wonderful job raising him. My only wish is that Amir can have the courage to stand up for himself, and to stand up for what he believes in. When Amir grasps hold onto such courage, I can finally say that I was a good father.
The winter season is coming close, and all the children are preparing for Gudiparan Bazi, also known as kite flying. Ah, I remember the year that I won the kite flying tournament, I was so proud. Everyone in the town cheered for me. This year I hope that Amir and Hassan will win, and perhaps, for once I can look into their eyes and forget my guilt because of my proudness towards Amir and Hassan, my beloved children.
This song, Look Through My Eyes, conveys my feelings that I want to confess to Amir and Hassan. Due to my guilt, I have forgotten how to properly love them. However, with this song I hope that they can see the amount of love and care I have for them.
YOUNG AMIR (1975)
ReplyDeleteBaba, you have constantly told me to never do anything that will bring shame unto the family name. Baba, I am very sorry. You have once told me that theft is the greatest sin of all. My day of birth was the first day I sinned, Baba. I have killed my mother, therefore I have stolen your wife, and I have stolen my own mother. What can I do? How can I wash away my sin? How can I become a courageous man like you when you have continuously pushed me away? Please enlighten me father. Teach me how to become a courageous man. I have not been raised the way Hassan was raised; I have not been taught the way Hassan was taught by Ali. Baba, can you not look into my eyes without despising me? Have I become a constant reminder of your deceased wife? I will do what I can to make you love me, Baba. I will do what I can to make you proud of me, Baba. I will win the Gudiparan Bazi tournament. I will become talented at kite flying, just like Hassan. Then, Baba, will you be proud of me like how you are extremely proud of Hassan?